RSS FeedsThe gossipy Punjabis
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26 Mar
2006 |
Alka often tells me that it was only after coming to Delhi that she saw males gossiping about other relatives and berating their children in front of other, “grownup” relatives during familial gatherings. Where she comes from (Uttar Pradesh), she says, when “grownup” males get together, they discuss politics and economics of the country or the concerned region. I’ve never visited a UPite gathering, but I take her for her word because I trust her. My only experience with UP is my current stay in NOIDA.
But it’s true that Punjabi males, when they get together, don’t do quality talk (I know, I know, we all have our own definitions of quality talk and here I’m talking according to my definition). Give them two pegs of whisky and they realize God. Being a Punjabi, I’ve seen the culture from the inside. The young talk about girls and various smart-ass feats they’ve accomplished. The middle-aged talk about how much money they are or are not earning and who purchased a new jewelry or that new “kothi”. A bit older talk about how their children have utterly disappointed them and how there remains no hope for them. Drinking lots of liquor and consuming lots of meat is considered bravado and not doing so invites ridicule. If you can carry out non-stop nonsensical gab and scream at the top of your voice you are considered smart otherwise you are a “bewakoof” (moron). I’ve never heard them discussing the national politics, the current affairs, the environment, etc. Agreed, when you meet after months the last thing you want to discuss is country’s socio-economic condition, but what about those cousins, brothers and friends who meet twice or thrice a week and drink together?
I have sat through such gatherings as an observer, not as a judge; because had I tried to judge the way they talk, I would have never been able to endure those long stretches of boredom. In fact sometimes I enjoy, because if you listen to them you’ll observe they are either meekly listening to the greatest bully at the table, or they are all trying to score over each other.
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March 28th, 2006 at 2:20 am
Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve hung out on both sides but whenever I go to my mother’s family town in UP (its really a kasba) my uncles are always discussing politics and I’m surprised at their level of knowledge (not that I think them country yokels but at how much information they have and its very up to date) but I’ve never been satisfied intellectually or otherwise hanging out with Punjabis. That goes double for the Punjabis in the US because they’re rude-(er?) and somehow think that being Punjabi means they’re the life of the party/gathering.
Just like the hillbillies around here down south, cept they don’t get burned in the sun.
June 13th, 2006 at 4:10 am
ananbhai…im in the us and ill tell you firstly, its not punjabis think that they are the life of the party but non-punjabis. most punjabis dont like to hang around non-punjabis as they find other indians to be very self-serving and unnecessarily subservient to the west and in the west, and honestly and respectfully unattractive.
most punjabis, which happened to be mainly sikh in western countries, did not arrive due to the h1-b visas or a student visa, or any government aid program to uplift the punjabi people. they were accepted here wih political assylum and many many hindus here have changed their identity to acheieve the same in order to gain legal status. most punjabis have been so busy fighting outside and internal forces that their concern has not been philosophy and literature, but looking at the us and punjab (and i think it is the richest state last time i checked?) they are doing damn well. and it is only non-punjabi or non-sikhs driving the rickshaws in punjab.
their intellectual level, well i think u have chosen to see wat your media feeds, and im sure your aware of sardar jokes and how zee tv portrays any punjabi, so how can you expect to have a broader view of these people? here in the states most americans think all hindus are stinky, 7-11 owners and worshipers of an elephant headed god who burn their widows and kill dalits…ever seen the simpsons? so my point being let us be more aware of the history, and influence behind the stereotypes we hold so dear…because they are so very fragile. i think your current government and army is a great example of punjabis and their intellect.
your country today can call itself a growing economy due to soley a punjabi sikh. largest sacrifices made during brits enslavement of india was by the punjabis. your greatest books were writen in the north, one example is the ramyana and the vedas. sanskrit is believed to have come from north, the harapa civilization was in the north. punjabi is believe to be older than hindi. and lets not start about the mogul era. oh…they still are the complete representation of patriotism even when they just faced a genocide in 1984.
and trust me most non-punjabis love to marry punjabis, i think this is due to genetic reasons.
real sad to hear that you find punjabis rude or ruder in west…u see they are just very a proud people and don’t know how to be hindu or white like to satisfy their clients or those around them. they stay true to their identity. thats why a sikh man here will drive a taxi with a turban and also run for office with a turban. i dont see any hindus here wearing red dots or tikkas to work? i guess it is easier to adjust being a hindu in the west than it is being sikh or punjabi. please dont mistake punjabi pride with rudeness, as ppl here in the west who are aware of india and its cultures (and have visited india) rate sikh punjabis as the most honest and generous ppl of india.
well im glad that upper castes of india have the intellect to have satisfying dialogues, i just hope you guys can start on finding some solution to the dalit problem. should you keep them and give them basic human rights or continue the killing sphree begun atleast 4 thousand years ago by brahmins?
June 13th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
Hi Zhivago (are you a great fan of Dr. Zhivago, by the way).
Reading your comments were enlightening, especially about the Punjabis, and to a great extent I agree with you.
Regarding atrocities on dalits: reservation is not a solution; it’s a conspiracy to maintain the terrible status quo. If our society really wants to undo the injustice, a sense of equality should be strictly imposed first. There should be access to basic education for all sections of the society. Quotas have existed since the 50s and only conniving, rich dalits have benefited from them. I recently read, to my shock, the daughter of an ex-president, who was a dalit, got admitted into the foreign services using the quota system.
June 13th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
hi amrit. i am great fan of the book, it is in my opinion one of the greatest works.
i completely agree with your approach to a better situation for the dalits. india has to become genuine in its intentions for them. equality should not be expected thru such means of quotas but it should be the goal of the entire nation. however, as an american i cant help but see that such a system does serve some good, some real good. one of the goods is that it serves as a constant reminder to all generations of the ills of its society and its history. it forces people to react, negatively or positively but some reaction does occur and all sides are forced to face the issues. further, i think it encourages dalits to stand up for themselves, regardless if they are for or against. it brings out the true colors of the society politically, academically, socially and some dialogue occurs.
who knows when any society will become truly egalitarian, i think dalits have waited long enough for such a time, i think it should be their choice if they want such a policy or not. from gandhi to sonia…dalits have been the victims of policies founded and ignored by such leaders. ever wonder what dalits think of gandhi (they hate him, as do many others)
i cant wait for the day when we will be fortunate enough to see protests and self immolations for the upliftment for dalits.