RSS FeedsRevisiting 1984
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17 Aug
2005 |
They were burning him as if playing a normal street game. A few kept him pinned down to the ground while others poured petrol on him. After kicking him to the content of their hearts they torched him. With a burning body, he ran here and there. Someone brought a burning tire and with the help of a long rod and put it around his neck, receiving a great round of applause. They clapped and they chatted. There was no sound coming from him. He just ran like a giant flame, aimlessly flailing his arms in order to capture something in the air. They playfully avoided him, giggling, joking. Then he fell on the ground, giving up the fight against the unknown demons. Some just danced around without purpose, clapping each others’ backs. None looked angry. None of them looked familiar. I watched this from my window. I knew that it was just a matter of someone pointing to our house. With bated breath I waited. Every second was like an hour. I knew they would move on looking for the next victim to kill, the next house or shop to loot and burn, but when? Would they discover our house before that? This thought redefined the way I think of home. This was the same road that used to look so friendly, brimming with neighbors and tens of familiar faces. Now, at a grey dusk, it looked like the shadow of hell, with strange, unknown monsters wandering around as if they owned the world. In my right hand I held my crutch, and in my left hand I held a cricket bat. My legs trembled with fear and excitement while I remembered my grandfather saying, “If we have to die, Veera (brother), let’s make sure we take one of them with us.” I knew I couldn’t even raise the heavy bat but it was kind of reassuring to hold it. My sisters had already been sent upstairs to our Hindu neighbors. I had refused to go, and my mother had silently accepted that if we were attacked, I was to be the first one to confront the mob because whenever loud noises seemed to be approaching, she would say, “Pali uth, crutches pale!” (Pali, get up and put on your crutches!)
My grandfather had been taken to the backside of the house by my mother and grandmother on some pretext, as he wanted to go out and challenge the crowd, the mob.
Long after the riots, in the school bus when I sat near the window, boys would tease me from their balconies. When I travelled in the auto with my mother people from the nearby vehicles jeered at us while my mother constantly cautioned me not to say anything. A classmate of mine was told by his parents not to talk to me because I was a Sardar (of course his parents were summoned and the principal gave them a piece of her mind that they would remember for a long time). It was not hatred, but a sinister pleasure: Look Sardar, we can humiliate you and you cannot do anything about this, you cannot even dare to utter a sound, because soon a mob will gather, we’ll first cut your hair and then burn you alive.
Now that I’m grown up, I can feel through what the Jews had to go in the Nazi Germany. I hated Hindus then — not all, but the ones who had taken parts in the killings and lootings. I wanted to take some sort of revenge. When my cousin visited our place and told me that they were collecting iron rods to create make-shift weapons in case there was another attack on the community, I gladly gave him the TV antenna pole that lay behind our door. We used to talk for long hours making strategies to make sure we were not caught off guard the next time. We knew the equal fight was not possible, but half of the mob wouldn’t go back even if they attacked a couple of Sikh guys, because not all stories were hopeless. At many places single individuals had put up fight and chased away crowds of twenty people. A friend of ours, with his two brothers, had saved the local gurudwara from being burned down; they had a gun and a few swords. Wherever a few armed Sikhs could gather, they chased away the approaching mobs.
Like me, many people have first person accounts to remember. They all know that 1984 riots were not a spontaneous action (Narender Modi’s famous action-reaction — kriya-pratikriya thing). They were organized; they were incited in full connivance with the administration. We saw the army tank rolling in our colony well after 3-4 days. This was the level of speed with which the government acted. I don’t want to get into who should be punished and who not, but it was so horrifying that now, at this time when I’m writing this, it’s hard to believe we went through those days when the sounds of death were echoing everywhere. It was like living in the enemy territory. All our neighbors were nice but what would they do if a mob of 50 people descended upon us? In total there must had been 350 houses in our colony, and 10-15 belonged to Sikh families. It was as if we were living in a dark, dismal dread.
Although punishment acts as a deterrent, I’m not pretty much concerned about the current debate on the Nanavati Commission’s findings and the PM’s consequent apology. The PM need not be apologetic about the pogrom as he was not an active politician at that time. But he should be apologetic for belonging to a political party (Congress I) that propagated the pogrom. Punishments and apologies are technicalities basically; the clock cannot be turned back. Those who died horrible deaths cannot be brought back; those who went through horrific experiences cannot wash them off. I saw the kind of violence I would never like my child to witness.
People who took part in rioting should bear at least some consequences, if for nothing else, just to show the future generations that a semblance of law exists in the country. Those who were children in 1984 have grown up now as the citizens of the country. They should not have to live with an impression that in this country if you are given a free hand, you can perpetrate any kind of brutality without incurring the wrath of the law.
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August 18th, 2005 at 8:22 am
[…] ; Society, Personal Stuff at 9:21 am by Vulturo Amit (Writing Cave) revisits 1984. A chilling account, by all means. […]
August 18th, 2005 at 9:45 am
i’m so sorry, amrit. terribly, terribly sorry.
thanks for sharing.
August 18th, 2005 at 10:10 am
I don’t know what to day……it’s so painful even to read this.
August 18th, 2005 at 11:17 am
I am really sorry that you had to go through this. I very well remember that day only that I learnt of what happened in the Capital years later. Hope no one ever gets to witness a violence like that.
August 18th, 2005 at 12:19 pm
Found this via Uma’s blog. What can I say, the post left me speechless.
We (i.e., the non-sikhs) will carry the weight of 1984 for a long, long time. We can only pray no child gets to live through such moments again.
Krishna
August 18th, 2005 at 1:06 pm
Amrit
This shit still happens. In Gujarat, in Bombay. Well beyond 1984. Beautifully written.
Sourin
August 18th, 2005 at 1:24 pm
Amrit, what’s there to say. The senselessness of it all, the injustice of it all, the futility of 21 years. The sad thing is that your last sentence has nothing to do with India. Here, if you’re powerful and you perpetrate brutality, you will indeed escape the wrath of the law.
Never again, I hope; but it happens again and again.
August 18th, 2005 at 3:05 pm
Amrit
Great post. I wont even pretend to comprehend what u went through, because i have never ever been in this situation.
I hope that first person accounts of personal events become more public and an awareness is generated so that such carnage does not happen.
August 19th, 2005 at 12:07 am
Amrit,
I don’t even know if words would help to ease your pains. I don’t think they would. You and your family and friends depicted great courage.
All I can say is thanks for narrating, those who have had no idea about the horiffic crimes committed , this piece will open their eyes to it.
I agree with you that every person who instigated those sinful riots should face some consequences. I believe they should be hanged. They deserve it, and if we fail to do so, we have failed as a democracy.
We have been failing too many times haven’t we?
August 19th, 2005 at 12:28 am
So moving, Amrit.
People who took part in rioting should bear at least some consequences, if for nothing else, just to show the future generations that a semblance of law exists in the country.
Very true. Will that happen?
August 19th, 2005 at 8:03 am
I don’t know to say Amrit… moved to tears
August 19th, 2005 at 3:05 pm
Thank you for this post, Amrit.
August 19th, 2005 at 3:34 pm
I am sad and teary eyed. But, I am also angry that we don’t seen to learn anything. So many riots and so much death for wanton pleasure.
None of the political parties, in my opinion, care about India and Indians. Everybody is busy getting elected or reelected. Hope there will be an alternative soon.
In my name, Amrit, I share the meaning of your name. In my heart, I feel your pain.
August 19th, 2005 at 5:15 pm
My hear goes out to you Amrit.
August 19th, 2005 at 7:18 pm
man sometimes becomes the worst creature on the earth…..i read somewhere, “man is also an animal”,
I dont think this is true…..animals are much better than man…..
August 19th, 2005 at 8:14 pm
I was in Trichy (TN) then and we had a Sikh guy in the class (son of an army officer). We were in the middle of a class when rumors of Indira Gandhi’s death slowly started spreading. At that time the cheif minster of TN, MGR was in a hospital in the US fighting for his life. Everyone was sure it must be a mistake and that MGR must have been the one who had died.
Soon, the principal was making the rounds to every class and asked everyone to remain calm. I remember an army guy coming into the class to get Sukhjeet(Surjeet?) and he was gone in an instant. I was in the hostel then and didn’t know what was happening in the city, but there were rumors of a couple of sikhs being set upon by a crowd. But apparently they were saved from being lynched.
To this day I can’t believe what transpired in the aftermath of the assassination. Definitely one of the most shameful periods in our history. I’m sorry you had to go through this.
August 19th, 2005 at 8:27 pm
Glad to see you are trying to do something in your own way. The present and future generations need to know what went on, and make sure these brutalities are not repeated.
I can’t even try to imagine how you relive those moments.
Have a good day.
August 19th, 2005 at 9:23 pm
Terrible Amrit. I went through the same hell in a small town in Himachal Pradesh. I did not see death though. The atmosphere, the hatred and the planned attacks were all same. Luckily we had a home in punjab too, we escaped at night after camping for a few days in the local Gurdwara sahib. Crossing into Punjab was like getting into a different country or maybe a different world. I’ve never had that feeling of relief ever again, the feeling when I realized we were in Punjab. I felt alienated in my own country for a long time. I could imagine how people must have felt in 1947.
I wish leaders of our country could take more responsibility not only for the riots and mass murders but also for the misery of everyday life.
August 19th, 2005 at 10:15 pm
Let’s see how many of us can honestly accept this as part of countries history first. There can be no reparations without acknowledgement. I’ve lost count, but we are still in denial about: the emergency, the Sikh massacre and the IPKLF fiasco, not to mention the entire north-east and Kashmir.
August 19th, 2005 at 11:19 pm
A very powerful post.
I remember I was 13 years old studying in a hostel in Punjab when the riots started in Delhi. As a Hindu I did not feel threatened even once by my friends. I also remember that a few months later in Delhi an uncle of mine told us about a similar incident but from a rioters point of view. He did not participate in the rioting but he was telling all of us gleefully how he saw a mob burn a Sikh in front of his house. And I started to cry. Everyone around me made fun of me and I cried even more with frustration because I could not make them understand how monstrous they (my cousins, uncles and aunts) sounded at that point. My relationship with them has never been the same. I don’t hate them and I know that if I talked to them on a one-by-one basis they would probably understand, but on that day they were no better than the rioters.
I know it’s pointless saying that I hope this does not happen again because it will. All I can do is pray for you and hope that your life be filled with love and happiness.
Regards,
Anurag.
August 20th, 2005 at 12:28 am
[…] his window, the horrifying crime against the Sikhs in 1984. He writes about it in his blog here. The first paragraph is so powerful and gut wrenching that it left me ashame […]
August 20th, 2005 at 7:38 am
Amrit..thank you for sharing something that must still cause you immense pain.. I cant even begin to imagine.. all I can do is wish you peace and pray for peace on this earth..want to say much more but cant. my eyes are too misty..
August 20th, 2005 at 7:46 am
Nothing would help in removing the scar that the incident has left behind in the hearts of many. We can only pray for such incidents not occuring in the future.
August 20th, 2005 at 5:37 pm
Dear Amrit,
I really appreciate your way of venting out your anger and disappointment in such civilised way unlike those inhumane beings ( I dont think they being called ‘being’ in the first place ). I believe it is the duty of the government to accept such wrong doings have happened and try to set things straight by having the Truth and reconciliatary Commission like in South Africa to let people come forward and apologize for their dastardly act. And the school curriculum like in Germany should include this episode so that the future generation could look and accept the short comings and have a more tolerance and mutual respect so that we have a healthy diverse country. Lastly I dont think those who perpetrated such horror should take cover under the religion of Hinduism. The Sikh and Gujarat riots are nothing short of ethnic cleansing and genoicide. Please accept my deepest condolences and please do know that there are young Indians like me who would like to stand along with you to weed out these self proclaimed ultra nationalist.
August 22nd, 2005 at 12:48 am
I am sorry man.
August 22nd, 2005 at 11:27 pm
In newspapers it is still one level removed, it is happening to unknown people. This is chilling.
August 24th, 2005 at 7:44 am
i bow my head
both in shame
and also in respect
to your maturity.
August 24th, 2005 at 8:51 am
I hope that in sharing this, you will help to build resolve in a young mind or two that they will never participate in or allow such acts to happen in their little corner of the world.
Thank you.
August 24th, 2005 at 9:02 am
[…]
People kill people. We’ve been doing it since the beginning. But sometimes, the way we do it horrifies me. They were burning him as if playing a normal str […]
August 26th, 2005 at 6:51 am
Bravo buddy
September 2nd, 2005 at 2:32 pm
Shame on the politicians…
I’m leaving a link to your post on my blog
September 3rd, 2005 at 6:29 am
Just some day, believe me, one day we are all going to get around the politicians and do what the mob did to the innocents.
And this time, many will be shedding tears, tears of joy.
September 11th, 2005 at 2:02 pm
Amrit,
I have recently begun to learn the truth about that time. It is hard to realize how much our news people neglect to tell us or hide from us. Thank you for sharing you personal experience.
September 26th, 2005 at 5:54 am
I was a kid myself then. I clearly remember - my mother asking our neighbors if they would take me in, if a mob attacked us. I don’t really know their answers… but it makes me extremely angry and brings tears to my eyes.. that my mother had to beg neighbors to save me in the event of being attacked without worrying about herself. Sometimes, i wonder what country we live in.
November 15th, 2005 at 8:48 am
Your site is a very nice source of info. Discontent makes rich men poor: http://www.seathelights.com , right Chair will Increase Corner without any questions A good conscience is a continual Christmas , Table will Table unconditionally while they only recover
November 15th, 2006 at 9:30 pm
damn……that sukz…..
letz get 2 the point, its noy hindu vs. sikh, its Indian govt against sikhs….note that…..
how long will we suffer, how many more wives will be widowed, how many mother will see their children being killed, and how many sikhs keep forgetting??????
Time to take action! we’ve cried enough! we’ve shed enough blood for India’s freedom, and now, we will take out the current prime minister Dr Manmohan Singh…yes…if he was a true sikh he wud have taken action..but nooo….we will do that for him..he didnt repare the Akal Takht, he didnt mention anything revengous on 1984, those mother fuckerz started it…we’re gunns end it….that was the thanks we got for freeing the country? WE now need our own indedpendent state…Khalistan..after the killing of Saint Jarnail Singh Bhindranwale, and riots of 1984, we want what we desire…Khalistan….Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!!!!!!!!!!!1
November 18th, 2006 at 9:25 pm
khalistani..you are preaching to the wrong crowd…i mean i dont think you have read amrit’s other posts…check them out…but yah…i agree with..although i believe it is upper caste hindus vs. any minority in india.
November 18th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Read this log in a faraway land . Extremely moving . Being a punjabi and having had my best friends as Sikhs all my life I know how it was . Your maturity and grace is an inspiration to our filthy polititians who play this game of creating insecurity amongst the minorities and reaping the benefits in elections.
Taken a pledge today to do something to improve the situation
December 4th, 2006 at 4:42 am
Khalistani and zhivago, you can have whatever you want from Indian dogs. But don’t ever think of Nankana Sahib and other religious places in our pak land. 1947 ki pitai yaad hai na?
December 5th, 2006 at 8:52 pm
listen…nadeem..i dont think youare muslim…you are probably a brahmin RSS supporter…and if you are a muslim..dont forget who brought down the mogul empire and who were the first to rule afghanistan..and how far sher-e-punjab extended. and again i think you some whimpy brahmin trying, as usually to start a rift between minorities so you can have the upper hand…dont foret brahmin boy…that Sikhs saved you and they can and will finish you…
so grab on to them chicken pants and run to a hole..as you always have
peace
December 6th, 2006 at 1:44 am
U sissy pimp, you don’t have the balls to reveal your own name. You balless asshole, forget the past. Talk about the present. Presently whatever religious places we have we won’t give a mm of it to you turbaned morons. You traitors, 1947 mei jahan bhaag ke gaye ab vahi maro aur lado. Gaddari to tum logon ke khoon mei hai. You are a pimp for your own mother and sisters. Do it nicely. One day I might pay a good sum for your sister for one night. Is she good? Being a sister fucker, you must be knowing.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
lol…i could easily chance my name to ram lal, or tulsi ram and start saying wat you are. muslims dont speak as you do. i know plenty. they hate hindus cuz they think you guys are disgusting, but they dont know what only upper castes are disgusting. anyway i have no need to respond to you passionate remarks. i wonder wat made you so angry..if you were muslim you would have enjoyed my remarks above..and focused on just one remark i made about muslims..whereas the serveral others i made aboue upper caste hindus..so i guess you really know who and wat you are.
peace
March 31st, 2007 at 7:24 pm
i agree Nadeem
May 24th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
I agree with KHALISTANI and a sfor the post with NADEEM 1947 ki pital shut up, if innocent Sikhs were slaughtered so were the muslims fleeing INDIA, it goes both ways we can get into inopak war in the 60’s etc, but we were BETRAYED IN 1947 we lost our lands coz we had devious heads but we will get back our lands that have been partioned from INDIA ND PAKISTAN. 300 years ago there were many raja I am sure many people didn’t think these Rajah raj would ever end especially the MUGHALS, well where are they now? hey tell me WE GOT RID OF THE MUGHALS, WE GOT RID OF THE BRITISH AND ONE DAY WHEN WE ARE STRONG AGAIN WE WILL GET BACK WHAT IS OURS, U COUNT ON THAT mr naddem
wgjkk, wgjkf
rEGARDING THE kHALISTANI SITUATION i HAVE WRIITEN A COMMENT ON THE ”TENSION IN PUNJAB” archive
May 24th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
THERE IS NO NEED TO BRING IN REMARKS ABOUT ANYONES MOTHERS OR SISTERS INTO THIS SITUATION. IN RELATION TO ZIVAGO COMMENT ON NADEEM BEING A HINDU WHY WOULD A MUSLIM BE ACESSING THIS SITE IN THE FIRST PLACE.