RSS FeedsDecency and education
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20 Jun
2005 |
A few days ago Alka had to visit her doctor for the routine check-up. I usually accompany her but due to my knee pain I decided to wait for her in the car itself.
These days our hot topic of discussion is the depleting value system in the current generation. Most kids today are growing up like zombies…vying to reach at the top without the stairs or the climbing rope. No matter how hard you try to motivate them, their spirits refuse to budge even an inch away from their set patterns. They don’t read, they don’t think, heck, they don’t even listen to good music. She went through a distressing experience while teaching the kids of our locality.
So when in front of the doctor’s room nobody offered her a seat (she’s almost 8-months pregnant), her analytical thoughts went working again and on our way back we had an engaging discussion. Does being cultured depend on education and social background? We both agreed that it definitely does not.
She said they were mostly young men occupying the seats. One looked like a sales person waiting for a meeting. The rest were perhaps soon-to-be young fathers. She stood there for more than ten minutes. Although she was not greatly inconvenienced, the way we’ve been brought up, it’s almost unthinkable that a pregnant lady stands while a few young men sit conveniently upon their chairs. I’m on crutches; still I’d offer my seat to a female in similar position. Even goons are known to be more decent than that.
Education these days is not evolution; it is just a tool for material gains. People get educated to get good jobs and earn good money (earning good money is not bad in itself). Education is not used to attain a higher level of wisdom, as it should have been. It is used to furbish life, not to enrich it. That’s why we often see highly “educated” people wallowing in base attitudes.
On the other hand, I’ve seen the so-called illiterate people having more refined manners and a higher degree of dignity — our maid, Meera for instance. She not only respects others, she also respects herself. We good-humouredly comment sometimes that she walks like a queen. She performs her tasks with supreme diligence and takes pride in it. She cannot read a single word, but she knows how to treat life, in her own “unrefined” way.
Our neighborhood presswala bows with respect without a single hint of obsequiousness. That day when we were to go to the hospital, our car cleaner hadn’t been coming for a few days. We’ve been regularly having dust storms, so there was a thick pal of dust covering the car. Seeing that we were about to leave with the dirty vehicle, he came running from somewhere and dusted the car with his own angochcha) (a thin cloth used by men in warmer climates to wipe off sweat etc.).
I don’t mean to imply that people who are nice to us, or are seemingly servile, are well mannered. No, they might not be. Neither it is that all illiterate and poor people are good and all educated and rich people are bad. The point that I’m trying to make is that it’s not necessary that education makes you a decent, a cultured person. Decency is inherent (with genuine intentions it can be cultivated too). Education and money surely makes it easier to feign virtuosity but it’s the inner self that ultimately shows up when it really counts.
Email this link | Posted by Amrit | Tags: General
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YES!!! i agree. decency is inherent and depends a lot on the way a person is brought up, the kinda values surrounding him/her when s/he was growing up. parents don’t care aajkal and that attitude is seeping in the kids.
i remember an incident when i was about 8.5 months pregnant. i got on a bus, and there was this guy sitting on a ladies seat. i asked him to get up, he refused to budge saying that his stop was pretty far and that he will not keep standing for the rest of the journey. it was another sweet woman who got up and gave me her seat. i really didn’t want to inconvenience her, but i did, as the bus was crowded and i didn’t want to take a chance. i could’ve taken a rikshaw, but riks are not safe at that advanced stage. but that guy actually looked me in the eye and told me that aapney paas hee to jana hai (your stop is near enough).
Amrit, I agree. but it is no fair blaming the younger generatation - they have not been taught by their parents and older people - I often see parents standing silently or even beaming at their kid’s “cute naughtiness” - banging the door on the person coming behind you, not offering a seat, honking for no reason, breaking queues - these are just some of the things that irritate me - and the worst part is people dont even realise they are being rude - it is perfectly normal behavior for them!
Amrit, so true. I’ve seen this happening so often. It is very frustrating. It is sad but there aren’t many ‘good’ human beings left anymore.
amrit
I liked your article in general but one line disturbed me. You wrote “I’m on crutches - I would still offer my seat to a female in the same position”. I hope you would do that because the person was on crutches not because she was female.
Neela
Amrit
I think those young men were truly ill-mannered but I don’t think you can generalize this to saying that the younger generation is more badly behaved than your generation or mine.
First, I have seen examples of terrible behavior among people who are old enough to be my parents and lecture me and my generation on bad behavior. Case in point: We were all patiently standing in line at the Passport Office when a middle-aged gentleman tried to break the queue - and not honestly by asking people whether they would mind, but slimily! And on at least 2 other occasions I have seen an older person throw a terrible tantrum for no reason at all - along th elines of “you should listen to me”. I;ve seen perfectly healthy middle-aged (not old) people not giving up their seats to an obviously tired pregnant woman. My point is that you simply can’t generalize. badly behaved people will be there everywhere in every place and in every generation.
Second, you sound very judgmental. What for example, is your definition of “good” music? Your parents probably thought the music you listened to as a teenager was terrible. I don’t think any music is bad (except for pop music and especially Michael Bolton which must surely classify as truly horrible music) - its just a generations reaction to it. And I think its unfair to say “they don’t read”. Perhaps technology has shifted away. in any case, how many people do you know in your generation who still read???
As always, lets not generalize wildly. I think young people nowadays are much more confident than we were growing up, they are also more focussed and hardworking and ambitious and they don’t always listen to their elders (which can’t be much of abad thing).
Neela
anirudh,
let me tell you about this young man from IIT/IIM Calcutta. He gave up campus placement (which everyone and their newspaper is quick to tell you is a proposition worth lakhs) to start an NGO called Parivaar in Calcutta. You might want to check it out http://www.parivaar.org.
I graduated from this institution 10 years ago but no one in my batch would’ve thought of this or done this.
I think there are very good human beings left and will always be.
Neela
amrit, i really like this post. thanks.
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